On the way to the adventure, first solo of all my life. I keep a good memory of this experience despite the pain and the difficulties. These authentic moments when we experience our vulnerability are for me the essence of our humanity. Getting out of your comfort zone is never easy but is very rich !

So I’m on the plane, at the end of January 2014, heading to Bali, my suitcases are full of concerns, a serious health problem and the 3 words of English that survive in my memory.

My challenge (some will tell you that I like this): a month of Shaking at Ratu Bagus ashram to heal from this tumor.
The principle of Shaking is to jump on the spot while singing a mantra (at that time, it was the Gayatri mantra) and thus to artificially increase your vibratory rate to revive the metabolism: physical and emotional detox, XXL size. In general, the symptoms of detox arrive after 5 days. The toxins come out where they can, all the emunctories are called upon, this is called the “Process”. My program is 2 hours of Shaking practice, 3 times a day for a month.

My first impression is very strong: they are mad ! Not only do the people present jump on the spot singing (this is the principle) but they also suddenly start laughing out loud or even rolling on the floor shouting. I have the urge to get back on the plane… and I think back to chemo. Ok, I stay a little, to see.
My first stroke of luck was my French roommate, Françoise. She has lived at the Ashram for several years. She helps me discover the place and the practice. But quickly, enters a heavy process and is less available.

My shaking practice is not fluid, the energy does not flow on the right side of my body, I am wobbly. I’m looking for someone to answer my questions. I meet a confirmed Irishwoman, but she leaves 2 days later.

I finally connect with an Australian, Lola, who will guide me on my way. This is perhaps the most important encounter of my life, a powerful vibrational reconnection, what spirituality calls the fusional flame. As if a soul were incarnated in 2 bodies, we are at the same time identical and opposite. At that time I did not know that this meeting should allow us to cut this link and to rebuild each of us on our side, finding our freedom and our power.

Lola explains to me how to use tobacco as a medicinal plant (and blessed by Ratu!). Either directly between the middle of the gum and the lower lips (stomach meridian, good for me), or as an infusion, injected into the nose (big shot!). Good even blessed by Ratu, tobacco is addictive and corrosive. I lost in this practice a good part of my olfaction and gums. But I notice that my practice becomes more fluid with tobacco, I learn that it rebalances the nervous systems. Maybe that’s why I smoked for 10 years!

My stay is even brighter when a little elfe, Amandine, arrives à l’ashram. She is a young Parisian who is starting a life as an adventurer. A burst of joy that lightens a heavy process, we had fun like crazy during her stay.

I have trouble eating, I start to vomit daily, my transit has stopped. And I’ve only been here 10 days.

During this stay, I saw and felt extraordinary things. Ratu is a special being who transmits powerful energy. His gaze or his breath can unbalance us, knock us down when we practice Shaking at a certain vibratory rate, when we are “electric”. And what power in the vibratories waves that cross the room when he plays the drums ! In a workshop, I had the opportunity to wear his shoes. The energy emanating from it made my body shake on its own. I meet many people cured or in remission, a real court of miracles for those who adhere and practice very regularly.

Between 2 doors, taking my courage in 2 hands, I question Ratu, on my state of health. He brings his hand to my appendix and reassures me: everything will be fine if I practice.

Despite the “Process” I manage to make 2 excursions. Hot springs on a volcano, more pleasant than the cold shower and a white sand beach. Morale rises, it feels good to get a fresh air !

Lola leaves, my energy also… strange. I struggle to practice, continue to vomit every day, liquefy me by Shaking myself. My stomach ache is getting worse. I have hardly eaten for 2 weeks. Françoise is worried, I have lost a lot of weight.

It is in this state that I leave the Ashram. I had planned a stopover in Singapore. It turned out to be a nightmare. But more intrepid than ever, I give up the pleasant tour of the city by bus. I leave the airport and venture into the metro towards the botanical garden. I will sleep there for several hours under the sun on a magnificent wooden bench. Thus recharged I discover the garden of orchids, a marvel ! The beauty of the flowers soothes me and gives me the strength to take the plane back to Paris.

I only want one thing, to get my life back, my daily life… I didn’t know that a new adventure was waiting for me the following week.